The Super Minority Trail

No commentary this week. Sorry folks, just enjoy the map!

Pre-Passover Hash

So this week I had the good fortune to go to Herpicles' Passover trail. As we all know, he likes to make his own marks, so we were shown a few new checks at the beginning of trail. Because it was Passover started the next day, we were shown several marks to help make the trail a bit more Jew friendly. To name a few, GFC: Gefilte Fish Check, W4|/: wait for 4 people, then start whining, CC: circumcision check.

It appears that many people had issues making it out to start, because after waiting almost an hour we were still missing several hashers. It was most likely because Herpicles told everyone to look for 'Pyramid Builders' beside the road, which many misread, or were confused by. What he meant was jews, because you know, passover is all about them building pyramid, and then escaping after the labor laws sucked. When we finally left, our RA hadn't even shown up, but enough of us were impatient and no longer cared

Silver unfortunately was unable to come on trail, but Just Joe did make it out, and had lots of fun losing his virginity to the Hillbillies. After being on trail for just a short while, we saw some guys on horseback wandering through the woods as well, and since we were down by Bull Run, no one thought anything of it. However, upon getting to the first Jew Check, the horsemen were spotted wandering away with our matzo and mani. Luckily our check was retrieved, and before too long, we were back on trail.

The mainly stuck to the woods, and was generally dry. I ended up crossing a few creek, waste deep, but always quickly determined this was unnecessary. We eventually made our way back to start, where we were greeted with plenty of beer. Our RA had finally arrived, and so we eventually started circle, which was good, because it was starting to get cold. For whatever reason, each violation was deserving of a song, and before too long, most of us were completely out of material.

All in all it was a fantastic hash, with pretty good weather, and a nice end to an otherwise meh weekend.

Oh Snap! Another Running Bare Trail

So we've been a little absent from the hashing seen for a few weeks now, but really, we can't be to blame. First of all, SHIT keeps having their damn hashes all the way out in the Alexandria/Arlington area, which is basically impossible to get to in time. If I wanted to hash inside the beltway, I'd go on Thursdays with Wednesday. Second, Lost just started back up, and I've been enjoying the gloriousness of Lost on Tuesday nights, rather than freezing cold dark weather. After all, there is still beer in my house.

So onto this weeks hash. It was actually very nice weather out, and we were able to get out several virgins. Just Chad, Just Dan, and Just Jess all made it out to their first hash, and Just Kristin also decided to join us. The virgins picked up quickly what to do, and within no time were falling behind getting lost. Thankfully Just Jess took my flashlight, so that she wouldn't get lost, and Ticki was kind enough to hang back with myself and the other Justs to ensure we had enough light and actually made it back

Silver and Just Jess took off early from the first beer check, found the Turkey/Eagle split, and took the Eagle trail; very ballsy of them. Since it was a Running Bare trail, the split wasn't actually marked yet, and so Silver and Jess actually had no idea that they were heading on a longer path. By the time I got to that point, we had found Running Bare (again), and so were told that it was a Turkey/Eagle split. We smartly took the shorter route. Which ended up well, as we became the FRB group. After another beer check, we finally made it back to start, and amazingly were the first runners back

After waiting quite some time, We noticed that two hashers never actually made it back to start. The only surprising part of losing two hashers is that only two got lost; on any given Running Bare trail, I would expect to lose 5. The group decided that we should definitely go out and look for them, but first we needed to circle and drink some. Luckily, before too long, the hashers stumbled out from the woods, and joined in with the rest of us. The circle was relatively uneventful, as it was starting to get cold, it was relatively quick. After a quick attempt at an OnOnOn, and realizing they stopped serving food, we left, and headed home for some showers and hot dogs - the after hash of champions!

El ¿Dónde coño estamos? Hash

Silver and I found ourselves in Mexico over the Valentines day weekend, and of course, my first thought was "Let's go hashing." Unfortunately for us, there was no hash within about 250 miles, and after much convincing, I agreed that was a bit far to go on a hash. Basically what that means is that our next trip will be planned around a hash, and not a wedding. I mean really, priorities!

So since there was no hash close by, we decided to host one ourselves. Now, when I say we decided to host our own, what I mean is we started haring a trail, however, didn't leave any flour or beer behind. Not knowing the local area, or the authorities (or even the language), we decided not to tempt fate, by disturbing the city. Luckily, there was no pack, so our lack of trail or beer went unnoticed. Some may refer to this trail as a simple walk through the town, however I will simply call those people closed minded.

Our goal was to make it out to the mountain ranges, and go on a nice hike through them. Unfortunately, the hotel refused to give us any advice or directions to a nice hiking spot, so we just went out, determined to find a nice trail on our own. We did eventually make it to what looked like the start of some very nice hills, however all of the trails we saw leading up it, looked like private driveways. Again, not wanted to push our luck, we decided it was probably best to just continue on down to the beach. Silver was very excited a little later to find a rooster wandering around the road. however, I was unable to let Silver feel proud of her accomplishment and decided to one-up her by spotting a tiger being hauled around in the back of truck. The driver was announcing something over a speaker system, which after seeing someone walk up and buy what looked like a ticket, I guessed was either a tiger meat buffet later in the evening, or a circus/zoo event.

The rest of our journey was rather uneventful, which was more or less good. We made our way back to the beach, at which point we wandered back to our hotel, crossing several rock formations which made the journey much more exciting. And like any good upon returning we circled up and had a drink. See below for some pictures.

Hangman & Fuzzy Butt Celebrate Hangman's 20 Year Separation from the USN

Apparently Silver and I need to come up with a hobby, because we were quickly convinced by Herpicles that our free time on Sunday could best be spent at another hash. As it turned out, he was just tired of being persecuted for being the only Jew, and wanted some backup. So after making our way out to the middle of no-where Chantilly, we got to meet this Hillbilly group, which was half made of up familiar hashers anyways.

So the trail was pretty fun and I was excited, as the snow on the ground promised to make this a thrilling adventure. The hares decided to use kool-aid in squirt bottles to mark the trail, which was surprisingly smart for any member of this group, let alone a hare. Unfortunately, that was only smart thing they did on trail. It was pretty nice going along the trail, running through the snow, and over frozen areas. I fell through at least twice, getting completely soaked feet, but since it was a nice day, it wasn't too bad. After the first mile, I started walking, and amazingly the trail was laid well enough to keep me up with the FRBs, which was fantastic.

We were promised a beer check at start, but after going several miles with no beer check, the trail was already looping dangerously close back to start. And what do you know, the trail looped back to start with no beer check to be found. The hares claimed they left the beer check at the top of a hill, and that some kids must have run off with it. Well, that's just idiotic. Everything was snow covered, and kids are clearly going to be climbing up hills to sled. So either the hares were just of it or some kids got to experience the deliciousness of Shlitz and PBR.

Rainblow lost her keys on trail, and so half of the group stayed behind to re-run part of the trail to look for them, and the other half went on to OnOnOn. Hangman was kind enough to have us over to his house for the OnOnOn, and after about 45 minutes the rest of the group showed up, unfortunately with no keys. After hearing some of the worst 'key' puns to ensure Rainblow felt as bad as possible, Silver and I bailed (a little before circle ended), as we had stuff to do in the 'Real World.'

The Adventures of the Misfit Hares Trail

Not too much to discuss this week. The trail was pretty good, a bit wet, and a big hilly, but overall, pretty fun. The trail ended well, with a giant loop, and Herpicles being ridiculed (again) for his giant vagina.

We did have two virgins show up, the first (name?) was a bit overachieving, and decided to play chicken with metal gate. Not-surprisingly the gate won, and our virgin left a little worse for wear. The second And How's Her Bush brought, and well, couldn't have fit in any better. After talking getting a nice analversary present for him (editable underwear), she proceeded to give us a boob check, and once she was kicked out of circle, decided to help me stay warm, by putting me in the middle of a humping sandwich. Both awkward and warm!

Silver and I bailed a little early from circle, as it was starting to get super cold. I don't if we'll make it out next week. The hash will have to be really convenient and close, as Lost starts, and honestly, I don't think waiting an extra 2 hours to watch it is an option

The You Don't Have To Be Gay to Take It Up The @ss Trail

So I didn't exactly have a great start for the trail. Silver thought I was supposed to pick her up from work, as the hash was about 5 minutes away from her office, however I didn't completely comprehend this. To make matters worse, I had left my cellphone at home, so I had to receive her upset calls about me not getting her. Once Just Craig arrived, I used his phone to call her, but at that point the damage was done. Silver had gotten lost, and was truly upset with me.

So I finally started on with the trail, having hashers continuously asking me where Silver was, and chastise me for forgetting her. I had no idea how rare it was for me to show up without her, or how many people would recognize that. The first shot check was laid about a quarter mile from the markings, and while I was at the head of the pack when I got to the SC written in chalk, I was apparently the biggest alcoholic, as I was the last to arrive at the actual drink. Luckily there was about a little over a shot left to drink, which Saskatchewsnatch was kind enough to split with me. The rest of the trail was relatively un-eventful, muddy, but uneventful.

We returned to circle, which was much nicer than previous weeks, as it was a good 10 degrees warmer than previous. The drinking continued for some time, and after Passion received a wonderful new nickname from his GF we made our way over to the OnOnOn. I didn't stay too late as I wanted to get home, and ensure that I wouldn't be sleeping on the couch for months to come. The bar was nice, and we were relatively tame, and once I announced that Herpicles sits down to pee, I was out

The 3 Worst Hares That Any Hash Can have Trail

This hash was fairly uneventful, so there won't be too much of a writeup this week. With only two hares, I didn't expect too much, however, Frisco promised a fun trail. After being promised two beer checks, I was pretty excited, however after arriving at the first beer check after going almost 2.5 miles, I was suspicious about having missed the first one. That was exactly what had happened. Frisco had left true trail across a creek, and rather than cross a who-knows-how-deep stream in 30 degree weather, we all took a longer path along the stream, and eventually met back up with the trail. And of course, in doing so, we missed the beer check. We finally arrived at OnIn nice and dry, and after half of the group left due to the freezing temperatures a quick circle ensued, and we dispersed.

The Brother From Another Udder Mother Ho Trail

So last night was the first night I had made it out hashing in over a month. Amazingly I had managed to go running a few times since Thanksgiving, so I wasn't too terribly slow. When we got out of our cars, it was 30 degrees outside, and I'm sure it only got colder as the night went on. Apparently SHIT doesn't follow winter hash time, but finally we were off, to warm up a bit. We were promised a beer check, with the possibility of interesting things there, and after about 2.5 miles, I was definitely ready for it. Between running through creeks (notice the plural) and accumulating icicles on my feet, and overheating, which caused too much sweating, which then started to freeze, the beer check was looking mighty good. After around 4 miles, we finally arrived at Udder's house, having seen no beer check.

What we then came to find out was that this trail was being re-used from Sunday's OTH4 run, and we had somehow managed to cut off about 2.5 miles and a beer check. I wasn't too upset about losing the mileage, but missing the beer was a GREAT disappointment. Luckily there was plenty of frozen cans at Udder's, and so after a few I was no longer upset. Circle was rather uneventful, with Udder apparently having deaf neighbors, as I can't believe the cops were never called. Rather than go on to the OnOnOn, I decided to head home, and get some warm dry clothes on. Perhaps next week I'll make it out there. 'Till then OnOn!